Winter of Discontent, Part II

 

Dear and gentle reader:

Last posting, I had a very short list of some of the things that irk me.  I shall add to it now.  Mind you, these are only my own not-so-humble opinions.  They may even be in error; doubtful though that is.  If you differ in your estimation, so be it, and I'm sorry that you do not have the refined tastes which I myself enjoy.

Hairstyles and facial hair.  Whilst I have sported facial hair - a beard and moustache since the tender age of eighteen, allowing the beard to grow to varied and sundry lengths, I cannot help but wonder what many young(ish) men of today are thinking when they attempt to sport a hirsute look.  I do not style my facial hair, nor use any specialised soaps or shampoos for it, and I keep it short and easily managed.  I shall make it plain - I loathe and despise patchy beards, neck beards, and other kinds cut and styled to suit contemporary fashions.  Pair those monstrosities with the currently fashionable hair cut, which I call "high & tight", with shaven sides and a longish mop atop heavily gelled, moused, whatever goop they glob into it to make it the consistency of concrete, and I become livid!  Worse yet is the top-knot, or "man-bun" as it is sometimes called.  (I shall not take to task the horrid mullet - not yet, not now.)  Why, I am almost tempted to become physically violent against such a cad sporting that hideous combination! Unless you are a samurai of old, no, you do not have the right to assault my eyes with a top-knot.  No, you are not being "individual", nor "unique", you're being a sheep, following current trends, (which I wish would cease as soon as possible).  In short, sirrah, you look the part of a fool.  You are not a Viking of yore.  To quote Elaine Benes of Seinfeld in speaking to Kramer, you are "a hipster doofus".

Tattoos.  Unless one is a member of the Navy, and by association their Marine Corps, or a merchant marine, or member of a biker, crime, or prison gang, then no, tattoos are not for you.  Much like the ridiculous hair styles roasted above, they do not make you fashionable.  One or two small ones, which can be covered with clothing is acceptable, but multiple ones, especially on areas of the body that cannot be clothed are loathesome.  Ye gods!  If I were ahiring labourers, those inked all over would be thrown out on their ear without so much as a cursory interview!  It makes me wonder if such persons are truly happy in their own skin - literally!  Why is there the need to mar such a usually beautiful canvas with such dubious "art".  It would be akin to having the Washington Monument or the Cenotaph in Whitehall covered in garish graffiti.  Worse still is to pair tattoos with multiple body piercings.  Ear-ring piercings are one thing, but noses, lips, eyebrows, not to mention the unmentionables?  Really!  Good luck getting through security with all that needless metal!

Athleisure and comfort wear.  Oh my, where to begin with these twin monsters?  I can understand the need for one to be comfortable in wearing what one does.  But these twins are taken to the extreme today.  Track suits, sweat suits, shorts, shirts, hoodies, slides, and sneakers (trainers), all covered with the logo and name of the maker (which are usually far over-priced) are fine in the confines of the playing field, gymnasium, and locker-room.  But to be worn as casual wear in public, especially by self-proclaimed adults, is ridiculous!  Yes, fine, if you're attending an sporting event to back your favourite team or player, yes, wear that jersey, just like everyone else in the crowd.  But, to go out to dine, shop, attend non-athletic events?  Nay!  A pox upon thee and thy house, you cad!  The same goes for pyjama pants.  They're called pyjama pants for a reason; you sleep in them, you bloody fool!  Do not ever wear them in public!  Never! One doesn't need to dress to the nines to go out, but one does not have to look like a shill for some professional team or player, giving them free advertising, for which you paid!  Silly capitalist!  You really have been taken in by the system.  A decent shirt, pull-over, or button down, a pair of jeans or khakis, and a decent set of footwear will do just fine, and will make you much more presentable to the eyes of others. You might even be proffered better service than the slovenly lout who dresses "down".

The Ginge and The Cringe.  Yes, those two.  Mr. & Mrs. Mountbatten-Windsor, since they choose to live in a republic in which titles are not used.  But, wait, they do use them!  Yes.  Any chance they get to be addressed as "Your Royal Highness", or the "Duke and Duchess of Sussex" here in the former colonies is leaped upon by those two malicious ingrates. Everything and anything about them simply gives me nausea. Whilst claiming to want privacy, they sell themselves on podcasts and streaming services, allowing the unwary public to see what's going on in their pathetic lives.  Oh, for the days when the monarch could simply order, "Off with their heads"!  This whinging pair of narcissists positively angers me.  Firstly for their trashing of their own families, especially the Royal Family.  Secondly, for their whining insistence that they're victims.  Bloody hell!  Very rich ones at that.  At least they're no longer living off the British tax payers.  Now it's the stupid and susceptible who freely pay them to have a glimpse into their anguish as they languish in their Montecito mansion.  Awww, poor things.  Harry comes off as a broken little man on a very short leash, and as thick as a brick.  Me-again comes off as the vicious, narcissistic harridan, slashing at any who thwart her grasping for fame and fortune.  Allegedly, mind you, allegedly.  I have no desire to be sued by the likes of them, who allegedly are suit-happy.  My dearest desire and wish is that His Majesty strip them of any and all titles.  Let them live as commoners.  Let them pursue the fleeting and fickle glimmer of fame and fortune.  Hopefully those in America will soon see them as they are - opportunists, money-hungry, fame-craving, lying rascals.

Well, that's enough for today, gentle reader.  I'm quite sure that I'll come up with more as time goes on. In the meantime, be well, stay warm, and embrace the inner curmudgeon within who years to breathe free!

God bless!

Father P.