Dear and gentle reader:
Some of you might be wondering what exactly is a curmudgeon. I fear that I should have defined that in my first post, and thusly beg your pardon.
A curmudgeon is defined as "a crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man", which fits me like a glove, although I am not so old. The author, Jon Winokur, in his wonderful book The Portable Curmugdgeon, adds a modern definition to the word: "anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humourous fashion.".
"But, wait", I hear you pleading, "aren't priests supposed to be nice?". If you mean caring, forgiving, and loving, yes. However, I detest the word "nice". "Isn't that nice?" is often said tongue-in-cheek. It's a bland word, and I do loathe being described as bland.
Let's look at the etymology of the word "nice". It's root is found in the Latin "nescire", to not know, to be ignorant. This developed later as the French language, rooted in Latin, developed to mean "foolish", 'stupid", "senseless". Now do you see why I detest that word?
As far as the common meaning in the modern use of "nice", we take it to mean "pleasant", "agreeable", "gratifying", etc. When one is told to "be nice", it's being stated that you should just get along, don't do anything to upset the apple cart. Now, where's the fun in that? Be bland. Become beige. Fit into the crowd. Gads! How horrid!
God wasn't very nice, according to Scripture. Just ask the folks during the time of Noah, or the denizens of Sodom, Gomorrah, and the cities of the plain. Query the ancient Egyptians, Caananites, or Babylonians. God, His angels, or His chosen people wiped them out by the thousands according to the Good Book.
If we were to inquire amongst the Pharisees of two millennia ago, most of them would agree that Jesus of Nazareth wasn't being very nice when He called them a "brood of vipers", "white-washed sepulchres", "hypocrites", "blind guides".
Even some of the great saints over the past two thousand years weren't considered very nice. St. Anthony of Padua, the beloved finder of lost things, is known as the "hammer of the heretics" for calling people out on embracing errors in their faith. St. Jerome, the renowned scholar of Sacred Scripture was so rash in his invective that during his life he made many enemies, even among his fellow clerics.
Now, I don't intend to excuse the faults of others, much less my own many faults. Nor do I intend to impute to God anything that goes against His perfection and goodness. All I am asking is never to accuse me of being "nice", gentle reader. I can become quite animated in speech, and fiery in temperament, thanks to my Gallic and Irish blood. If needs be, I can make a sailor blush by my cursing.
When teaching high school, years back, I received one of the most memorable, and in my mind, lovely epithets from one of my students. She said, "Father, you are the dream-crusher.". To which I responded, "Yes, I am your daily dose of bitter reality.". Much like a cup of strong coffee, I can awaken in others the passions and desire to live fully aware; aware even of the bitterness that is sprinkled throughout our human life.
I will, shortly in the future weeks, present to you some of my favourite curmudgeons for your erudition and enjoyment. Hopefully, you will end up liking them as much as I do.
Oh yes, and "clerical" - here it is used as "relating to the clergy". I am not a secretary, thank you very much.
A pleasant day to you, and as always
God bless!
Father P
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